we all are mortal until the first kiss...

Sometimes you cant help but feel alone
im anti social but i dont want to be
i feel like i have crossed over that line of good change vs. bad change
i dont feel like myself
i just wish i could figure things out

isnt it funny think of all the people you have known
think of all the people you have really cared about or who have really cared about you
think of all the people who have effected you in a negative or positive way
how many of those people remain constant in your life?

i fucking love my job
i have the most laid back job ever
my managers love me
i basically do whatever i want all day
and i can wear whatever i want
and they pay me to do what?

he makes me so happy
i cant imagine not having him in my life

do you ever have that feeling something bad is about to happen?

i really hate you right now
your purpose in life is to make me feel like shit
and you call yourself a friend
congratulations
just because i see things in a different light you criticize me
and for what because you dont find beauty in something that i believe is beautiful
your the most close minded person i have ever met

i feel so alone.

"i feel like a butterfly. i feel like a new chapter to your favourite book. i love those who love me. if you dont have love for me, if you are a HATER then BEGONE. I am too busy now for you. i am beyond doubting my soul. i will continue to be awkward and neurotic and "corny". to me corniness translates to romanticism. i think love is overwhelming and deserves the ultimate respect, over anything. a good friend once said to me "love or death.". i BELIEVE. i dont give a fuck. the people who truly love me LOVE that.....

try to overcome your doubt. believe you are beautiful. look at yourself through someone elses green eyes. believe someone out there will find you and kiss your skin until you can feel it blister with the heat. believe in something bigger than your problems and you will be saved. look up at the beautiful "melon sky". it will answer all your questions. it will unite us against the machine. my best friend taught me the best way to battle the machine is to ignore it. ignore the obnoxious hipsters. ignore those who will put you in a box because of what country you were spat out of. ignore the judgemental indie rockers. ignore the trenchoat mafia. ignore the right wing fanatics. ignore anyone who rubs you the wrong way. ignore me if you need to but dont ignore love. its what i am fighting for.
big news to come later this week. stay tuned."
max
p.s i am not anakin. we are the anakin generation

someone do something to make me say wow
i hate my job selling underwear sucks
i wish i could say i have been on a plane
so sweep me off my feet and take me somewhere... anywhere
so sick of the same everything

its really funny when people can do nothing but tell you how much you have lost and how terrible you are... but its even better a year later when they are still wrong and they continue not to make a difference

so i really should be saving my money because im moving out in about 5 months and that would be the smart thing to do but instead im going crazy and buying way to much and im buying things that are way over priced it really sucks but i figure i might as well spend what i want now because really soon all my money is gonna be going to bills....

i wish i could put it into words, how wonderful it feels to be in love
every time i see him i fall for him all over again

through a telephoto
a ways away
the cars all look like beans spilled on the ground
and you shine on
stronger than ive ever seen you
whyd you have to come around?
why cant i walk away
why should i care
is it just a mtter of being me
or are we just the worlds most perfect pair
speaking now in pictures
of crazy days
we had ways of working around the words
you were good and bad
a very scary mixture
you still are
youd think i might have learned
why cant i walk away?
why should i care ?
is it just a matter of being me
or are we just the worlds most perfect pair
you give me the mask i need to wear
we must be the worlds most perfect pair

so im moving out in 6 months

i cant wait for first friday!
everyone should go

so it really sucks being rear-ended
and sucks even more that i can barely move

anyways say anything was so much fun last night
it was a great night and its been a long time since ive had so much fun

oh yeah my boyfriend is wonderful
and i can easily say im very lucky to have him in my life
can you believe it he thinks he is the lucky one

okay im done

Sam bought me an ipod today!
and asked me to move in
its been an eventful day

so finally highschool is coming to an end
this being the last full week of school is thrilling because i thought it would never come to an end
everything is falling into place and i didnt think that is was possible to feel this good about everything in your life
i cant wait to close this chapter in my life and with that im leaving best buy
im ready for a change although i will miss everyone at that store its just not where i want to be anymore

one of the worst nights ive had in a while

if you only knew how stupid you sound

wow marc your super lame
sorry ive only known you for 5 years
and if you dont consider me a friend anymore thats your problem
excuse me for not wanting to drive out to your house all the time but
you have never offered to meet up with me or even try to come to my house
and as far as everything else it works both ways
youve changed in such a bad way i dont even know who you are
i hope you figure out what ever is happening with you
i dont know who you are anymore